The Ism

by Toadal
1 part
     
2 readers
     
0 votes
 

The Ism

1 part
     
2 readers
     
0 votes
     
  

by Toadal
Complete - Updated Dec 19, 2016  
 

This an parable about belief structures like religion and ideologies, in the form of a narrative.

The thing that fascinates me about people is that they seem to be entirely driven by fear, and this turns into anger, violence and rage. I am looking for an way to explore what someone believes, without causing them to fear me.

This work is covered by creative commons. That means you are free to use this work to build upon or share it, I only ask that you mention my name in works using this material.

Comments

I found this interesting. There were quite a few grammatical errors and certain dialogue that didn't fit, but this was intriguing. My only issue is the message "you" wanted to say. I understand why we didn't hear it, but I wanted a stronger hint of what this message was.

Now, perhaps I just need to read it again to understand this part better, but the structure was also at times a little confusing, such as the abrupt switch between you and I. But otherwise intriguing work!

MadameBlackRose - December 23, 2016 at 1:07am

Thanks for your feedback, I got some feedback from someone who agrees exactly with what you said about the grammatical errors, but this being the holiday season, I am away from the computer, so it is what it is for the moment.
I agree that some of my dialogue hasn't been firmed up yet, but the abrupt switch between You and I was deliberate. It was to signifiy that both of the perspectives I am trying to portray are equally important and valid. I will re-read this and make sure to make that clearer at some point soon.
I'm glad you enjoyed my work.

Writer - December 23, 2016 at 10:53am

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